Our oldest cat, Beauty, died this morning. Of course, I've known this day was going to happen...it's what we tell ourselves and our children to prepare them for facing the obvious, that all things die. I've always attempted to soften this eventual reality by trying not to get too attached to Beauty while she was alive. This way, I thought, if I keep a perspective on the fact that Beauty was only a cat, that she's not a person, that she and other cats are basically replaceable, I would be there to console my family. They, of course, would be deeply affected by Beauty's loss, and I would be there as a pillar of strength.
It doesn't work that way. Watching her struggle the last few days, and seeing her this morning, peacefully wrapped in a blanket, all life removed, made me realize how much I failed at distancing myself from her. She was very much a part of me and I feel a great loss. It has also made me realize that I don't need to be an unfeeling monolith when it comes to our pets. Our pets are part of the family, and they deserve our respect and love.
Thank you, Beauty, for allowing me to be part of your family.
